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Hey, y’all! I thought I’d drop in one more time before the wedding and say hi! Some of you have expressed surprise that I still seem to be actively blogging despite preparing for a wedding in…11 days! (Or less, by the time some of you read this.) Lest I delude you, let me tell you a secret: I love schedulers. 😛 My Pinterest account is always taken care of by a scheduler, I have manually scheduled Facebook posts through the beginning of March, and the last six blog posts and their corresponding emails were all pre-scheduled to go out while I was in Louisiana or back in South Carolina with Ryan tying up wedding details. However, it still takes time to schedule things, and even though I do have recipes saved up to share with you, I’ve decided to take a break from creating blog posts until after the wedding, honeymoon, and move. I still drop in and take care of urgent correspondence and share a few things around on social media here and there so people don’t forget about all my old recipes that are always available here on my website, but that only takes an hour or two each day and leaves me more free time for things like
- designing wedding bulletins,
- finding a place to take family pictures,
- shopping for foodstuff and décor,
- ordering flowers,
- and all the many, many, many details that go into planning a traditional wedding.
I’m curious – did any of you love the whole wedding planning process? I’m definitely enjoying it more now that we’re focusing on the fun stuff like décor and food, but I don’t think I’d become a wedding coordinator for a living. 😛 I’m curious about everyone else’s wedding planning experiences, so if you have any stories, I’d love to read them in the comments. Did you coordinate your own? Hire everything out? Extravagant or simple? What was the most unique thing about your wedding? I’ll probably be posting some pictures of my wedding on the blog here in a few months after I get settled in to life in Louisiana, so it’s only fair that I get to hear some of your stories. 😉
Below: Our first supper in our new house! I made fajita chicken and veggies in the oven and we ate them on low-carb wraps. No chairs in the house yet, so we sat on the floor. 😛
Three weeks ago I took a load of my things down to Louisiana, and Ryan and I moved into our new house (we’re renting). Well, he moved in. I moved my stuff in but moved myself back to South Carolina. I’m a little jealous that he gets to live there without me for a few weeks, but the time is flying! Ryan’s dad and mom and brother flew down from Ontario to join us for the weekend and help us move in, so it was great to spend time with them – and they washed ALL the windows and mini blinds. I will be forever grateful. Ryan drove back with me to South Carolina then, and we spent the rest of the week with my family, going over wedding details, applying for a marriage license, etc.
Below: My spice cupboard is well-stocked thanks to all the ladies who came to my bridal shower in South Carolina!
I’ve always loved blogging, creating recipes and projects, and building a business – and I’ve always wondered (and worried) how I’ll eventually mesh that with having a family. I was very scared that I wouldn’t be able to trade my independent-businesswoman hat for that of wife (and maybe mother, someday). It’s just a choice I need to make, yes, but my obsessive compulsive disorder complicates seemingly-easy choices sometimes because my brain tells me I have obligations to fulfill. In this case, an obligation to “keep up” in my field of work. An obligation to post regularly. An obligation to answer all the questions people send me. Because of this, it’s a HUGE answer to prayer for me that in the last month or two, God has stepped in and very naturally and gradually changed my primary focus from my role as a businesswoman to my role as a supporter and helpmeet. I feel complete peace about letting the blog and publishing projects find their own place – more as a hobby than as a career. I no longer feel obligated to maintain a certain posting schedule here on the blog or finish my second cookbook by a certain date. I feel very free, and I am so thankful that God is helping me find the balance I have craved for a long time.
Below: Trying to find room in my cupboards for all my Tupperware! I’ve picked a fair amount up on my own at thrift stores over the years, and my bridal shower took care of the rest!
That being said, I know that I’ll have a significant amount of free time on my hands after the initial adjustments of moving are over, and I definitely don’t intend to disappear. I’ll keep working on my second cookbook, filling it with all the concoctions I’ll be trying out on my new husband. But I’m going to be a little more relaxed with my posting schedule. I’m going to let things happen as they happen and if I need to take a week or a month or a year off to be the wife my husband needs and fulfill other responsibilities that God calls me to, then I’m going to do that. To this control freak who runs her life according to a tight schedule and about 5 simultaneous to-do lists, the prospect of such flexibility is a little scary – but highly attractive at the same time.
I know I’m asking a lot of questions of you all today, but do any of you get where I’m coming from? Maybe you have similar obsessive tendencies and had to majorly change focus when you got married? Do you have any advice or strategies to share?
Below: Our church in Louisiana threw us a beautiful shower as well! So much good food and fellowship. It was neat that Ryan’s parents and brother could be in on it too!
Above all, God has been showing me that the most important key to a strong marriage is for Ryan and me to strengthen our relationships with God individually as well as together. If I’m not fully invested in God, drinking in His Word, bringing all aspects of my life to Him before bringing them to Ryan, and talking with Him often, my life goes downhill real fast! Being in a close relationship with another human being can exacerbate this because, well, we’re both sinners; but it can also accelerate growth if we are diligently seeking God because “iron sharpens iron.” (Proverbs 27:17)
And that, my friends, is my current life in a nutshell. Thanks for listening – and just being here. <3 God is doing wonderful things – in my life and in your life. Let’s give up ourselves, give up our expectations and obligations, and live passionately in God’s will one step at a time. I’ll see y’all in a few weeks!
Click here to read our Love Story, Part 1.
Click here to read our Love Story, Part 2.
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Update: Thank you all so much for sharing your stories as well as your encouragement! I read every single one of them and smiled and nodded all the way through. 🙂 Hearing that married life only gets better with time is such a blessing and a testimony to the way God continues to shape us. Thank you all for sharing.
Mary Vein Eastridge says
Hi Briana,
I was just thinking of you. I’m not on Facebook too much more, on Instagram (Starshine_mary) however I wanted to see how you and your hubby are doing. It’s been along time since I followed you on THM website and then on your website probably the last I followed you was right after your wedding so I don’t even remember it’s probably been a year or two you’ve been married congratulations! Is there someplace I can read updates? Thank you! Mary (Ohio)
Briana Thomas Burkholder says
Hi there! The best way to make sure you see my new blog posts is to sign up via email! You can do that here >> https://madmimi.com/signups/8fc61035f0b4433ba4a4dd5d56eaec44/join
Some of my latest life update posts:
August 2019: https://www.briana-thomas.com/lets-have-tea-august-2019/
Feb 2020: https://www.briana-thomas.com/our-gastroenterology-fellowship-match-story/
March 2020: https://www.briana-thomas.com/lets-have-tea-spring-edition/
Thanks for stopping by! <3
Dolly says
I have been married 35 years..it would have been 37…We had panned a wedding but I could tell my future husband’s job loss hit him really hard. I told I thought we should wait. He was so relieved. I think he did want to postpone, but worried about disappointing me. 2.5 years later when we did wed he was the most interested groom I have ever witnessed. He was interested in all preparations. We had a really nice wedding and reception, it was by today’s standards low key. But really the day was true to who we are….even 35 years later. Lovely, simple, with joy and happiness of family and friends.
Briana Thomas Burkholder says
What a beautiful story, Dolly. Thank you for sharing that.
Teresa Lawrence says
I had to come to your website today to see if there was an update to your love story! Loved reading this. I’m so happy for you.
I LOVED planning my wedding!!! I’m always sad when I offer to help my friends with theirs and they don’t need my help. LOL! I enjoy planning events, but my real passion is speaking to and teaching women!
Marriage, in God’s timing and to the person He sends, is SO wonderful!!! It’s a lovely adventure! Just remember, the best definition of a good marriage is what 1) God says it is and 2) what you two say it is. For example, my husband doesn’t like it when I meet him at the door when he gets home from work, he prefers to take off his shoes, etc first. So I let him come find me. He loves that, although to others it sounds weird. He also doesn’t want me getting up with him, he enjoys having some quiet time with the house to himself. Love isn’t copying others, it’s finding what works for the two of you. Blessings!!
Briana Thomas says
I love that, Teresa! So true! I haven’t had time to blog lately with getting my second cookbook wrapped up, but I send out email updates periodically with some more personal stuff, so you may want to follow along if you’re not already. 🙂
Patricia says
Hi Briana Burkholder!
My highest goal is to serve God however He directs my life. And He gave me my OCD AND a calling as a physician in addition to my favorite roles as wife and mother. He however knew I would only be able to have one child, and that my husband would have early and frequent medical illness. I have stopped asking “whys?” and instead just ask “how shall I do this?” God is quite faithful to send directions. My OCD is managed with maintaining certain structure in my own personal life… and asking myself “what is the worst that can happen” when my structure is threatened. That part then becomes easy because I promptly turn that over to God. My belief that God always designs my life for my own best good…and does the same for others…means Gods plan is always better than mine. What might be worst to me…is always a careful part of His plan. My OCD is always better when I relinquish it to God. I can see it as a thorn in my side at times, or I can choose JOY and see it as a part of my wonderful and fearful design….a design God needs exactly in the place where I am. But I am now 63…. and have such a precious long relationship with my Lord… and my OCD has been altered for better by time and for worse by chemo for breast cancer. And I have come full circle back to a workable and constant relationship which depends daily and sometimes minute by minute on our God. I now have full days and weeks when OCD issues just dont figure into my life anymore. It is still there…my daughter can teasingly tear tiny pieces of paper in front of me and leave them on the table…her laughter tells me she “caught me” scurrying to clean them all up though I have no idea why the scatter bothers me! But it is no longer a stressful thing…and I can stop when I catch myself and offer my “best/worst” to God. I am thankful for a “mental illness” because I know and understand it is like asthma, diabetes, or any other medical illness… if we do not understand that we have imperfect temporary bodies, how can we ever develop compassion for everyone else. We All have something. Congratulations to you both! My daighter and I both found you about two years ago and heartily thank you for helping us to be healthier. Best, Patricia
Briana Thomas says
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Patricia. God has obviously brought you through a lot. Thanks for sharing your strategies and encouragement.
Rachel Arnette says
I’m soo happy for you as you enjoy your new married life and keep your priorities straight! Keeping close to Jesus everyday enhances your marriage, and serving your husband is so much more important than any job or hobby. I love your attitude! Sure wish I could meet you! I know we’d be friends for sure. ??
Briana Thomas says
Thank you so much, Rachel!
Mandy says
I was looking for green bean casserole. Is it available?
Briana Thomas says
Right here! https://www.briana-thomas.com/green-bean-casserole/
Becky Sanderson says
Just started reading your blog. I have some of your THM recipes, love them. I can’t wait to get ice cream machine and try your recipes. Congratulations on wedding,. Marriage is a great adventure with many happy experiences. I know you are excited to have you own kitchen and that someone special to cook for.
Margaret Pogin says
When I married my husband, he did most of the planning since I was moving to his state and we had a short engangement period. A friend and neighbor of his married a woman from France As our wedding gift, we paid for the food and she prepared it. We had cold poached salmon for the main course. The food was healthy and beautiful.
My advice is to have some “go to” ready meals to serve on nights when the day hasn’t gone as planned – like when my husband invited company to supper but forgot to tell me, it was the middle of a blizzard, he was late getting home from work, I got an international call to pray for a friend in crisis, to dog didn’t ask to be let out and used the front carpet instead, and the clean-up foam caused the vacuum cleaner to catch on fire – those types of days. If yu have simple meal options as backup in the fridge or freezer, you won’t go off plan because the feathers hit the fan that day.
May God bless your marriage, continue to give you peace and increase your trust in Him. I can see you floating in that trust like you would float on water – totally relaxed and joyful.
Lisa Adkins says
Congratulations! My husband and I celebrated 9 years of marriage yesterday- 2.17! It’s pretty great date for a wedding ☺️
Diana says
Have a wonderful last night before your wedding! We are so excited for you and your hubby-to-be! Have a WONDERFUL day tomorrow!
Love from all the Johnstons!
Diana
Rachel Cole says
I’m strangely excited about the wedding of two people I will probably never meet!
What I love most about being a THM lady for the last 5 years or so has been the Christian encouragement I get from blogs like yours and the THM ladies. Plus the great food, obviously!
I wish you all the very best in your new married life. I pray that God continues to bless you as you both serve Him. I’ve been married nearly 6 years now and have two beautiful boys. Marriage is wonderful but it has certainly made my faults much clearer to me – a blessing really, but a struggle sometimes also. As you know “iron sharpens iron”.
Krissy Phillips says
Congratulations on your marriage! I live in Louisiana also. Where are you heading? I’m in the Shreveport area. It’s actually tough to eat healthy here, but I’ve been thm for almost 2 months now. Whole foods just opened up so that is great! I look forward to hearing from you!
Briana Thomas says
Thank you! I’m keeping my location as confidential as possible for now. 😉
Candice Forte says
I totally know your control freak struggle. I can tell you from experience for me it is very hard to balance children and a business. I could totally do it when just married (of course I worked full time as an engineer and couldn’t really) but since having kids I have sold Usborne Books and have run a professional portraiture business. I can’t really do those things well with children. The good news to that is they both require leaving Home whereas blogging doesn’t. I have started a blog called Homeschooling Unplugged and have slowly built up a following. I don’t have near enough time to dedicate to it and make it truly lucrative but you already have that! So, hopefully it will be fine if you don’t let it run you!
Brooke says
We kept our wedding quite simple. I did the flowers (artificial for corsages/boutonnieres so I could make them ahead, fresh for altar), we had it in the afternoon, so the reception was cake and punch in the church basement.
My favorite bit was suggested to us by the pastor. After we proceeded out, we returned to the front of the church and dismissed the pews one by one. This way, we were sure to greet everyone who came, and no one needed to stand in a long line. The cake was served, so people could eat right away while they waited for us to finish greeting/dismissing everyone.
I remember smiling so much my face just hurt.
Good luck finding your work/life balance. I have a home business, but it is definitely secondary to my roles as wife, mother, and home school teacher. It has been great to have it through the little kid years, as I had my own identity outside of ‘mom’, and now looking ahead to the empty nest in a few years, I will have productive work in place for when they are gone.
Rebekah Derr says
My husband and mine wedding was basically planned in 1.5 months but the bulk of that was executed in 2 weeks (including making my wedding dress). Since we both had waited on the Lord for each other, I found it such a joyous event. Being in my 30s and my husband in his 40s, God brought us together quickly, confirming His choice for us was each other! Basically, with the help of few friends to execute the plans, we kept our wedding simple and elegant so it could happen. We did almost all the decorations ourselves, focusing on the fellowship hall of our reception in a Thanksgiving theme. With that harvesty theme, I chose what could be accomplished…like a cake buffet for our 70 something guests….with multiple and various flavored cakes that I and 2 friends made instead of one big massive one. One thing that’s very special is how many people wanted to share their talents as gifts. Since we didn’t have a set in stone “I’ve always dreamed I have to have this and that ” kind of wedding, God provided us so many different friends from our church to join in preparations: our sing a long of hymns at our reception was led by a school time friend, our slider sandwiches were assembled by a delightful woman of our church, the night before, a fly in friend offered to make extra bows for decor (something I hadn’t planned) and her work enhanced the whole decor, and the list goes on. I look back at our wedding and smile at the beauty, the fact that God provided some very kind friends to help us and rejoice that after 15 months marriage, it only gets better…when you wait on the Lord He truly gives you only the BEST! Add to that, God has given us a son. I shared a tiny version of our story on my blog http://equest4truth.com/equest-for-truth-blog/entry/quest-for-christ/god-was-our-matchmaker-rebekah-l-holt-becomes-mrs-john-derr
Thank you for honoring the Lord in your sharing the journey with us! My husband and I have truly enjoyed several of your recipes! Congratulations! Enjoy the JOY!
Amanda Jabczynski says
Hello Briana! To answer your question about my wedding planning I will need to give a little back story. My husband and I met at our first duty station while in the Navy. Neither one of us were very close to family so we decided to get married at the Justice of the Peace. Me in my Walmart dress and He in His Levi jeans! Simple and easy but blessed just the same. Here we are about to celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary. Our first date was in San Antonio, TX and we usually take a trip there every tenth anniversary. I am excited about planning next year’s trip as we are hoping to make a stop in Waco to see Magnolia Farms!
I admire your desire to put God and family as your top priority over your career. I just retired from the military just over a year ago and have decided to do the same. After living a hectic life of active duty service, it was quite the adjustment to be a stay at home mom, homeschool teacher, and full time student getting my Medical Transcription training online. It is an entirely different kind of busy, but I thank God for the ability to be home and to fill the role I have longed to fill for the last twenty years of military life. I wish you all the best and look forward to hearing more about your wedding and of course the latest dishes you create for you and your spouse! God bless!
Monica Hartz says
My mom and sisters planned my entire wedding. I hade no desire to plan anything. I didn’t even see my cake until I was cutting it. Lol. I saw my wedding dress on another bride, walking down the isle. Borrowed that. We had sandwiches and fingerfood. I believe my parts spent 5,000 for the entire thing.
I believe the most unique thing about my wedding was the fact I married a Deaf man. And a symbol of my submission to him, I signed (American sign language) , all of my vows . I had a voice interpreter for myself. He had his own voice interpreter because he signed his vows because he had to. I did it because it was a symbol that we were joining ‘in neither sound or silence’. March 22nd we will have our 15th wedding anniversary. Which is crazy to me. Our first 7 years were really hard. We never had a honeymoon period. That was because of the different cultures. We had a lot to overcome . Marriage is hard, it can get dirty. I won’t even say that we never went to bed angry. Setting that expectation would be a disservice to you. What I can tell you is that, we never stay angry. It may take a night to wrestle with the disagreement, it may take a walk or a shower. But you learn how the other thinks and you learn how to talk to each other. It’s not something you know in the beginning. So what I would say is, give grace. Even when you don’t want to. When I hear of couples giving up, 1, 3 or even 5 years into it, I just shake my head. You barely know how to communicate by then. I always tell my girls, love is not what they show you in the movies. So don’t set that expectation. God will continue writing tmyour love story, even after you are married because that’s when it truly begins. The true sacrificial love….
Can’t wait to see wedding photos!!
Louise Pike says
I planned my own wedding. I did not have a clue on how to plan it and so it was extremely simple. I made my own wedding dress and the maid of honor’s dress. A lady from the local rescue mission made and donated our wedding cake. There was just the maid of honor and the best man, a pastor who had just flown in from Israel and was experiencing jet-lag, and 50 guests. My husband and best man wore simple suits. Mints, nuts, and punch were served after the 10 minute ceremony. The entire wedding cost us $600.00. That was in 1984 🙂
Grace says
Please do share photos from the wedding when you can. I would love to see them! I liked being engaged better than dating, but I loved marriage so much more and was thankful to not have to plan a wedding anymore (our engagement was 3.5 months long, so we had to cram a lot into a short amount of time!) I had a business that I had to put to the side once children came along, but it required a lot of travel and I wasn’t willing to be away from home. The great thing about your blog is you can slow down the pace but still keep it up. I’ve turned my business skills into another direction since then, but am thankful to have more time to focus on my children. May God bless your marriage!
Vicki Jeffries says
I really enjoyed this post. Sounds like you are right where you are supposed to be. I’m glad you are letting God lead you and listening to Him. Keep listening and walking with Him. All else will fall into place.
Food, Faith, and Other Fabulous Finds says
Hi, Briana!! I’ve been married 10 years (in June) to my wonderful husband, and I thought I’d share a little about our wedding. We did not have much of a budget for our wedding since we were both finishing college, and my dad is the pastor of a small church. I saved 1/2 of the money myself, and my parents matched my savings. Basically, I did everything except make the dress and the photography. I actually enjoyed parts of the wedding planning, I find a certain odd joy in scouring the internet for needed items. (My roommate got married a few weeks later, so I did the scouring for both of us.) It wasn’t a very big or fancy wedding, but it was very personal, especially because of our color scheme. For our very first date, my husband brought what he called a progression bouquet (which he designed himself!). It featured 6 roses showing what we hoped would be the progression of our relationship (we were already best friends when we started dating). The roses were yellow (friendship), pink (crush), peach (first love), white (pure love), red (romantic love), and a Latin lady rose (white on the outside and red on the inside for passion). We incorporated all those colors into my bouquet (a recreation) and the colors that our attendants wore. My best tip for marriage is to keep communicating. Sometimes what we say and they hear (or vice versa) seem different, but are really the same thoughts expressed differently. Staying calm, taking a break if necessary, and talking through things has really helped us avoid some big arguments or hurt feelings. And if God is the center of your marriage, you’ll have a solid foundation to grow together. I hope your wedding is as beautiful as you hope, and congratulations to both of you!
Brenda Krupa says
Hey Briana! I am so happy for you and Ryan. You are so beautiful and you have found a very handsome man to be your husband. Together you both just oooz. with a Love for the Lord which is so important. I am also from SC! The Greenville area. But I live in Florida now since I remarried 2 years ago. But when I got married to my first husband back in 1994 a funny thing about our wedding is that we were the last 2 people to leave our own reception! He was a big talker and great story teller and just had a special way with people of all backgrounds. ( He died of a heart condition in 2009) But just thought Id share that little tid bit about our wedding.
God Bless
Brenda
Jeanne says
As I read about your “life” it is just so refreshing to see a young person so surrended to Gods plan for you as a wife. I’ve been married for almost 25 years to my high school sweetheart. I was raised in the country with 5 brothers, me, the only girl, so very independent and much a tomboy.?Our last year in school, I was taking college night courses, working 3 part time jobs, watching my nieces, I loved to stay busy. Then I got married, had a baby, busyness as I knew it had ended. and I knew my place was at home, but not the biblical principles behind my role as a wife, as we got more involved in our church and I started to grow in the Lord, He showed me what I needed to surrender to Him. My independence being one of many that needed to be weeded out of my life. But I do understand the struggle if you will, of letting go and letting God, that having a todo list is great but its ok not to obvious if it doesn’t get done. Being flexible for our hubbys makes for a happy home. Now after 17 years in the ministry and on the road full time traveling (my hubbys a preacher?) living in an rv, has really helped my ocd?. I agree with all the rest of the gals advices as well, if we put time and effort into our vertical relationship (with God) our horizontal relationship (with hubby/others) will be better for it. It really comes down to remembering what we are called to be and Who we are doing it for. That’s just being God focused. As I read what is in your heart, girl you got this, don’t over think it. Your mind is in the right place. I have shared your love story with my daughter(17yrs old), she too loves to blog, vlog, YouTube and keep encourage young people in their walk with the Lord, on her Instagram posts. Just love how God brought you two together. Thanks for sharing apart of your life with us. Love your recipes too, almost have my whole family THMing ? oh, Congratulations on your wedding, enjoy it.
Diana says
We’re so excited for your upcoming wedding! Enjoy all the pre-wedding fun – and thank you for sharing with us!
Regarding time management: I actually started blogging after I was married and had one child, and while it was fun, it eventually took up too much of my time and mental space. This past year, I’ve put a firm lid on it and just said no more. It has been incredibly difficult, but much needed. Maybe sometime in the future.
Each woman has to figure out what she can manage and still be a good wife and mother. But I think the thing that we Americans often forget is that being a wife and homemaker (even without children) is a beyond-full-time job. It really is. So if you can manage blogging as a hobby, great, but if not, don’t beat yourself up about it!! I definitely can’t manage that without neglecting my home/husband/children, and I think a lot of women are in the same boat. We just feel guilted into doing the extras so that we can say we’re not “just homemakers.”
Enjoy these last few weeks! What a beautiful and exciting time for you!!
Randi says
Briana, and Ryan,
I wish you the best, you are one smart chic. You need to take time to get a good start in this new adventure.
We will be here when you are ready for us.
Love to you both,
Randi
Leann says
Congratulations on your up coming wedding! Everything will work out, we will miss you if you slow down on stuff for us, but you have a new life to tend to. Do what makes you happy. So happy for you?
Martha Gillum says
God bless you for all you do. I’m thankful He has given you such a godly man to spend the rest of your life with and grow old with you. Enjoy your wedding and honeymoon!
Janet says
My wedding was almost 20 years ago and I did all the planning and I loved it. My mom was already with the Lord and my sister was out of town so I was pretty much on my own. One of the great blessings was a friend who did all our flowers at cost and they were beautiful. One thing we did that was unique was that instead of throwing rice we ordered helium balloons in the wedding colors and all the guests went outside with us and released the balloons right before we drove off. It was awesome and some of the photos of the balloon release are my favorites. Wishing you many blessings in your married life. Your plans for letting go a bit sound right on track.
Janet says
Oh I just remembered something else we did that was unique. The girl who did my bouquet made my groom’s boutonniere a part of my bouquet. After I walked up the aisle, I pinned his boutonniere on him. The funny part was I was so overcome with love for him that as I pinned the boutonniere on him, I automatically kissed him on the cheek. There was an awkward silence and then everyone laughed. The pastor made a funny remark about it when it came to the correct time for a kiss.
Tracey says
I was teaching in Central Florida and finishing my reading endorsement certification, so I had very little time to plan a wedding which was 10 months away. My husband who lived in North Florida planned about 90% of our wedding. I definitely had my say, but it was such a relief that he planned most of it. We’ve been happily married for 11 years.
Lindy Huxford Gregory says
Greetings from a former SC girl!
LOVE the questions. My daughter got married in September and all the details are still spinning around in my mind. It was a sweet day fir our family. Yours will be too! When God is the center, it’s all a gift of grace!
I LOVE the way He is giving you peace about your blog and career. He’s so good to Jess and guide you. And kudos to you for allowing God to lead these decisions.
Bless you in these exciting days!!!
Love,
Lindy Gregory
Hampton, GA
Shoni says
Congratulations on your marriage! Marriage is so much fun, but it is also work. I’ve learned what Biblical submitting truly means (and, no, it does not mean I am a doormat to be walked over). 🙂 I have also had to work on being selfless, more respectful with not only my speech, but my expressions and body language. At this season of my life, I am also learning how important my behavior toward my husband reflects to my young sons. I get a little bit anxious just thinking about how impressionable they are and how they watch everything we do. Yikes!
For our wedding, I did all the planning and I loved it! I handmade our invites, programs, and flowers (I used silk flowers because I wanted them to last longer). Special things about our day:
*my wedding gown was designed by myself and sewn by a family friend
*I wore my maternal grandmother’s 1956 pearl wedding necklace that my grandfather gave her as her wedding gift. My mother also wore it in 1987 for her wedding.
*I had my maternal grandmother’s wedding hankie wrapped around my wedding flowers and pinned with my paternal great grandmother’s shawl pin.
*My husband wore his paternal great grandfather’s cuff links.
*My husband’s paternal grandmother made our cake.
It was a beautiful day. Your wedding day will be beautiful too! My advice is to truly enjoy every single moment because the day really flies!
Best wishes for your wonderful day, and may God richly bless your marriage!!
jackie mullen says
I am so happy for you and you are right on track with leaning into God and let him organize your life changes now. I recently read a little note from a friend who had put a quote on the front of the card “Make your plans in pencil and give God the eraser”. I so love that for I too tend to sweat the planning out and forget that it is ok to change the plans once made.
And trying to figure out where your businkess fits into marriage, didn’t you say that your husband is or is studying to be a MD? If that is so, as I remember from my days of working as a nurse….well Doctors days (and sometimes nights) can be very long and full and their wives can spend a lot of time without them that non medical families would not experience. Perhaps having your blog and cookbook writing will help fill up the time while he works those long hours and give you both the freedom you need to concentrate on what God has before you to do for now without sacrificing your times and commitments to each other. Just know that God already knows what he wants for both of you to do and be…Don’t sweat the small stuff. God’s got your back!! and your dreams…he gave them ALL to you and he will show you how to fit them all into your life without sacrificing anything He wants for you.
Lana says
God first, husband Second and everything else will fall into place.
Julie says
Love the excitement as you prepare for married life. It was so much fun planning our wedding 23 1/2 yrs. ago, and though we were pretty simple and traditional, the only thing I’d change now would be to make even more simple. It was our main desire to give God the glory through the whole ceremony and reception time. Simple can be just beautiful! We had 6 months between our engagement and wedding date, and we were 26 and 30 when we married. By the time that weekend arrived, I couldn’t care less how everything looked, and was happy for others to help figure it all out! Lol…. the day itself though, I’d relive in a minute! SO much fun!! It was the happiest day of my life (having our children came in closely after that!). My husband (fiancé at the time) was much more interested in planning our honeymoon, and we had a some wonderful travels together following the wedding, where we really started to get to know each other doing life together away from everyone else. 2nd to my salvation, he’s still the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wish you and Ryan the very best also as you begin your married life together w/ Christ as your foundation!
Julie says
And I just have to add, it keeps getting better and better over the years! Love grows….
Nicole Reid says
I’m so happy for you both, and this blog made me cry (I’m pregnant so I’ll use that as an excuse!) God is amazing at bringing things and people into our lives at just the right time, and I loved how you said God has been gradually and naturally changing your focus. Enjoy your last few days of planning and preparing, make sure you take time on your wedding day to just ENJOY it, and I pray God’s blessing over you and Ryan as you settle into married life.
Elizabeth says
Unless your husband has a wacky schedule, the big need for flexibility will come when you have kids. Lots of wives work while their husbands are in school and before there are kids. If his schedule is consistent, you should be able to set aside certain times to work on your business that don’t interfere with anything else.
Amy S says
I remember the wonderful and overwhelming feeling that I was making vows *about* my husband *to/with* God ar our wedding. That set the foundation in my heart and my marriage that when tough times come (and they will—that sinful nature creeps in from time to time! ?) I am reminded that I promised God to love, honor and respect this precious man always. It refocuses me when my head wants to claim my right to be angry, etc. May you be filled with that wonderful feeling as you and Ryan say vows to God about one another! ❤️
Rebecca A. Ross says
I SO GET where you are coming from. And so happy to see that you are discovering exactly how God can rearrange our priorities. He has done it for me, and I smile to see that He is doing it for you. Looking forward to a second cookbook…but hold on….I haven’t completely worked my way through the first one yet. But I HAVE made several believers out of my friends, and I know that one of them has already obtained her own copy. WOOT! WOOT! God bless you , God bless your marriage!!!
LeAnne Hurline says
My wedding was a year and half ago already! We were engaged 5 months and during that time he was and still is a farmer and I was working 50plus hour weeks as a fast food manager… I quit working only three weeks before the big day! I did most of the planning myself with the help of my church’s Bishop and his wife… I became a Mennonite three years prior to be able to be married to my Mennonite boyfriend. I had to learn a lot of the rules of the church’s standards. The wedding was mostly do it yourself except we had the main food courses catered… we did the apps and cake and ice cream our selves. We just cup up veggies and I made hummus and ranch dip from scratch and served fruit on wooden sticks… the cake was made by the Bishop’s wife (she use to have a bakery) I simply showed her a cake I found on Pinterest and she made it happened. We had 2 3 gallon tubs of ice cream that was help your self. The ice cream was from Trickling Springs Creamery where one of my church’s memebers works. What made my wedding different was I made a display of pictures of our parents weddings days and their parents weddings days and a few of my great grandparents anniversary (they were married 79 years) all decorations were either rustic farm house junk that was laying around My soon to be home or church members let me borrow… so grateful for that! My flowers where done by my cousins wife… sunflowers mixed with purple flowers… an old employee did our photography who does it professionally now… I stress plan plan and know what you want… it’s your time to lead and tell people what you want… and enjoy it… I had the people weeks before the wedding where I couldn’t stay asleep past 4:30am… that never happens… I’m usually in bed until at least 8am. It had to be nevers… I wasn’t even nervous on my wedding day or as much I thought I would have been… I’m still falling in love with my husband!
Deanna Doctor says
So excited for you and Ryan, Briana! What sweet gifting from God to each of you with the other! We had a wedding and reception of about 200 people. We got married 24 years ago and my budget was $1200. We had real plants all over the platform in the church (no candles) and the only flowers were the ones being worn or carried by the wedding party and family members. We had a full sit down meal that the ladies in my church completely cooked, prepared, and then served (such grace and service from them!). The most special things about that day for me, besides vowing myself to my man of course, were that my mom made my wedding dress and my brother married us!
I wish you and Ryan great joy as you embark on a new journey with each other! May your love for and awe of God grow daily as you work through the joys and sorrows of one-flesh living with each other! Blessings!
Debbie says
I could write you a book, but I’ll try to do a readers digest version. 9 years ago we were engaged in Dec and decided to get married in April. It was an out of city (other side of the state) wedding, so everyone had to travel except my brother. That was 4 months to find a dress have it made it China and altered here, make a couple trips down to Ft Benning from north of Atlanta and find photographers, florist, cake maker ect solely based on recomemdations. I enjoyed the planning, but I was a meeting planner. We had a smallish simple wedding, but we had a bag piper, that was something fun and unique.
I moved to the other side of Atlanta after we were married and had a total knee replacement 3 months later. I was pregnant by our first anniversary and we moved to be closer to his aging parents when I was 5 months pregnant. That is when my career officially stopped and I became a full time wife and mom to be.
It was hard after having a job for 20 years to stop and stay home. I still miss it at times, but I’m living my life long dream of being a wife and stay at home mom (it just took me longer to get there than I had planned. I got married at 39)
Carrie says
I just wanted to say God bless you both on this new adventure! My prayer for you is that you continue to grow closer to each other as you grow closer to God first. Congratulations!
Patty Christison says
I love the fact that you see the importance of seeking God first and putting your relationship with God as your priority. Our husbands are never meant to be our source- only God can meet the deepest desires of our hearts. As you make God your priority, as you are doing, you will be able to give to Ryan from a place of fullness not lack. I am sure you will have a blessed married life with Ryan and will enjoy your new life together! May God richly bless your wedding day and the new path you are walking as husband and wife!
Alyssa says
Will we be seeing pics from your wedding? I hope so! 🙂
My husband and I weren’t into the idea of a big, traditional wedding for ourselves. So we decided to have a themed wedding in Vegas! It was a lot of fun, they took care of all the planning, and overall even with travel and hotel and activities, it was still cheaper than if we did a traditional wedding at home with 100+ guests. Although planning a wedding does sound fun!
Katrina says
I planned my whole wedding, and I loved it! We were on a budget, so I made the invitations, my mom actually cooked the food with help from some Church ladies, we had it in a friend’s gorgeous backyard, and another friend helped me with all the flowers and bouquets. It was a beautiful wedding!
Brenda Bourne says
Thank you Briana, for taking the time to fill us all in on your wedding planning and moving adventures! The pictures are great, and I for one, am really excited for you and Ryan to begin your married life together! I also look forward to reading your blog and posts, and especially all of the wonderful recipes you will share in your new cook book! You are so right though, to put your personal life ahead of all of that, and just focus on being a new bride! I wish you and Ryan a life filled with joy and happiness! Best wishes to you both! 🙂
Sheila Gattis says
Thank you for being a sweet Godly inspiration to all of us. You have no idea how valuable your testimony is.
May God continue to bless you and Ryan and your marriage.
F says
May the Lord bless you as you keep him First! After 17 years of marriage I still find out new things about my Man! He doesn’t care for meat roast in the crock! I guess I didn’t make it much when the children were small. I remember our wedding (18 yrs in july)! One thing we did that wasn’t being done much back then, was handing out small thank you notes thanking guests for their attendance & gifts. It saved the headache of trying to address them all later. One other thing is that so much time is spent on the wedding and not enough for the night to follow… I found this beautiful site that shared better than I can- To love, honor, and Vacuum! Top 10 wedding night tips by Sheila Gregoire (pintrest)
Maria says
Here are the ten commandments of marriage:
1. Communicate
2. Communicate
3. Communicate
4. Communicate
5. Repent
6. Communicate
7. Communicate
8. Communicate
9. Communicate
10. Repent
I think it’s pretty accurate. Blessings on those early months!
Maria
Michelle says
I love this Maria! God bless.
Kelli Rumburg says
Such a sweet love story!!! I’m so happy for you Briana!! Yahweh’s blessings on you and Ryan as you step into your new life together. My husband and I got married a little more than 6 years ago after 2 years of dating and then a 3 year engagement (no living together). I was a single mom and my son was practically grown by this time (18 years old). Our wedding and reception were at a beach club on both my dad and my husbands last duty station. My mom planned and decorated, my aunt and uncle took the pictures, my husbands mom and stepdad provided the music, and a preacher friend of my husband performed the ceremony while doning his biker vest bc our wedding was also a faith based biker themed event. It was all beautiful and a wonderful day but details somewhat of a blur so I’m glad I have lots of pictures to help me remember!!
Helen Braun says
I think the obscessive compulsive stems in part from wanting to do all things well!
Business, career, many other obligations always take juggling over and over again, always deciding with Holy Spirit’s guiding what tge immediate and long term goals especially in light of husbands and families. You will do fine!!
Natalie E Hatfield says
When my husband and I got married 5 years ago (this Friday!), we were both knee deep in grad school and starting careers. It was great because we were in similar spots in life and could 100% relate, support and understand the needs of the other person as well as all the demands. Fast forward 5 years and 1 baby and I am right where you are—learning to embrace and accept my new role as mother and learning (JUST NOW!) that I am supposed to be a helpmate to my husband and a caretaker of my home. It never occurred to me that a career is not eternal nor should it be my ultimate goal. I never understood that being home is a most worthy calling and loving my husband well and pointing him to Christ, is the ultimate role of a wife. I miss my career so much (I was a high school Spanish teacher). But I also know that with each new season, God has a wonderful way of showing me (us) the areas in our lives that need to be brought into submission with Him and His will. I guess I don’t have any “tips” or insight, but if you have any, please share. I’m in the same boat as you and I’m learning and growing right along with you. I guess I’d ask you, was there something that you read or heard that helped you come to peace with letting go of your career-mindedness and come to peace with your new role? I’d love the encouragement as I miss my job so much (I was a high school Spanish teacher and I LOVED it!).
Thank you for your transparency!
Briana Thomas says
Hi Natalie! Thanks for sharing! It’s nice to know that someone understands. 🙂 There wasn’t really anything in particular that caused me to be at peace about letting go of my “career,” except for Ryan’s affirmation that he doesn’t have any expectations for me to keep up in that regard and just wants what is best for my spiritual and emotional health. He knows that I have a tendency to try to juggle too much, and he’ll be very good at helping me watch out for that. The whole change of focus felt very gradual and completely natural, and I can only credit it to God. I was praying a lot that God would help me find the balance, and He came through for me. I’m very sure that my career is something I’ll have to surrender often because it’s been such a big part of me, but God is faithful and will continue to be – for me and for you. Blessings to you as we walk this road together!
rachel says
I enjoyed planning my wedding, but wouldn’t want to be a wedding planner for sure! We had a simple wedding. We rented a building and had the ceremony and reception in the same room. My favorite part if our wedding was the frog theme. We had invitations that had a groom frog and bride frog were leaping towards each other. We had a figurine on top of our cake that was a bride and groom frog.
Karen Mertes says
It is so nice to hear all your excitement and hopes for the future with Ryan. Putting your life in order of priority is a major step towards a wonderful, fruitful and happy life as a wife, and in time, a mother, God willing. Being able to talk and work things out is important. Having your bible time together can only build a stronger marriage. One piece of advice given to us 43 years ago was “never go to bed mad at each other”. Even if it takes staying awake and talking things out, do it! Being a helpmeet for Ryan is important and his honoring your needs and desires is also important. Nothing is truly 50 – 50 but more like 60 – 40 on both sides. Be willing to go an extra mile (both of you) and listen to the whispering of the Holy Spirit in your heart. Wishing you happiness and love in all things.
Jo says
Did I love the wedding planning? Well, sort of? It was fun to click through a ton of ideas online but then I would have to step back and look at the budget and come back down to reality. If I had to do it all over again I would have been more relaxed and forget about what I thought others were wanting/expecting of me. I also would have delegated certain jobs better. One idea I should have done was order flowers through Sam’s or Costco and have everyone assemble their own bouquet because they would have been holding more flowers. Just a thought. I AM happy that I hired just the right photographer with a more photojournalistic eye, which is what I wanted even though all the family was like: what is photojournalist??? :.) Wedding blessings to you! May the honeymoon never end!
Rhonda Chapman says
Just keep God in the center and the rest will focus around that. Enjoy being married and the companionship it gives. You will find a balance that works.
Laura Smith says
I love reading your love story!! It’s so sweet! It’s sweet because you two are believers. It’s a beautiful picture of the gospel when two believers get married!!
I planned my entire wedding. I didn’t want to spend the extra for someone to do it for me. I wanted to keep costs minimal and not go in debt! My husband is a pastor, so not only did we have our congregation, but my home church and his home church, plus family and friends. We had our reception at the place where we first met! ❤ God is so good!! I couldn’t have asked for a better man to go through life with!! I wish you two all the best as you start your new life together! And I will pray that God will use you both in a mighty way!! ❤
~Laura Smith
Dianne says
Bri (that’s my granddaughter’s nickname ) I pray God will bless your marriage. My Bri is also planning a wedding so I get an update every week or so. She’s so excited as I’m sure you are too. I’ll be praying for a smooth transition into combining schedules with a partner.
nancysmockpatriarcosmith says
Brianna, just a hint for you. If you have the drawre space it is easier to keep the spices there.
Congratulations on your upcoming Wedding.
Love all your recipes and looking forward to making your new ice cream recipe next week.
Briana Thomas says
Thanks! Unfortunately my drawer space is very minimal. Once I move in for good, I’m going to try to figure out how to organize those spices better lest I forget what I have at the back of the cupboard! 😉
snowdancer1 says
My spices are organized (alphabetically, of course) on two double decker turn tables. One carries the label “baking;” and the other is labeled “cooking.” I have a huge turn table in the frig so I don’t have to move things to get to what I want that has been shoved to the back of the frig. I have two MORE turntables near my stove (for lack of a better place) that have oils and vinegars on one and baking items on the other like coconut oil, sorghum molasses, peanut butter and extra pink Himalayan salt.
It surprises me that you use Tupperware. I started getting rid of plastic storage in my house years ago and started collecting glass jars with lids. There is lots of research out there as to why I believe plastic is not a great idea for the body. Tupperware does stack nicely though. Sandy
Gail Golden says
Brianna, you have your priorities straight for sure. Your calling now is to love and support your husband, and to be a homekeeper. There will be plenty of time to work your business as things settle into a routine. Don’t worry about us, we love you and want only the best for you and your husband to be.
I’ve been blogging, and following other bloggers, for a long time. I’ve seen people take long breaks and I still check back on them from time to time. We’ll still be here, praying for you to have a wonderful wedding and honeymoon, and as you settle into your new role. Enjoy! This is a precious time of life, and you must enjoy it to the full. No worries!
About the wedding planning. I married back in the day when the mothers did all the planning. It was a different world. The only thing I remember about it (the late 1960’s) was picking out my dress and flowers. My mother did everything else. Now the bride does most, if not all, of the planning. Back then, the groom wasn’t involved. Today, he joins in the planning.
It’s your day. Don’t let others steal the joy of you and your fiance planning your special day. Don’t let convention and tradition put you in a box. The most important part is God. Center it around HIM and you will be blessed, and have sweet memories to look back on. Since you both love HIM, that part will be easy.
One trend I’ve seen in the last couple of decades is extravagance. Some weddings have become a huge show with all the trappings of a Broadway production – costumes, lights, etc. It takes away from the holiness of the occasion. When my daughter married about ten years ago, I was floored by some of her ideas – one of which was releasing white doves into the sky. Really???? No, they didn’t do that one. She had a beautiful wedding with all of the touches that she and her husband wanted. Not simple. Not extravagant. Just right – for them.
In Judaism, it is traditional to take an entire year off in order to get to know each other and enjoy life together. It’s a lovely and wise tradition that we endorse whole-heartedly.
I’m sure I speak for all of your readers in saying we send love and prayers to you. We will miss you and will completely understand if you take a break, no matter how long it takes.
Love and blessings to you.
Dawn says
Enjoy this special time Briana! Ty for sharing your news and excitement but you don’t have to. Take time to find your niche and it will give us time to catch up on your recipes and blog posts ;). Btw I’m in ontario! 🙂 my advice – put your husband and relationship first. Enjoy this time thoroughly!
I enjoyed seeing the pics of you filling your cupboards – I remember doing the same almost 31yrs ago – bittersweet. I remember a few tears also as we moved away from our family and church family and made new starts. We raised 3 children, 2 are married now and 6 grandkids. God is good! <3 Our wedding text was ps37:7a – so appropriate. Dawn
Kerri says
I love everything you said. You’re so right about making God the most important part of our lives and being willing to live daily according to his purposes. I get caught up in the entrepreneurial spirit of some of my endeavors so that at the end of the day I sometimes feel concern that I’ve spent more time on that than with my husband (even in my mind during the day thinking ahead of how I can be helpful and loving to him once he comes homes from work). Thank you for the encouragement to keep my priorities straight! Many blessings to you and your soon to be husband!
Erika Davis says
I’m so happy for you! You’re in the downward stretch. 🙂 I had been engaged before to the wrong man, and was all about the wedding. I was in love with the idea of a wedding. I say that to say, that when I waited on God’s timing, and met the RIGHT man, I didn’t care so much about the wedding. In fact, I begged to elope! He, however, was 32 (I was 23) and he said that too many people had waited this long to see him get married and he was going to let them see it, haha! I am very much a girly girl, but am also simple and frugal. We did it all ourselves. Everyone pitched in. My teenage brother made beautiful bouquets, cousins did food and church friends did decorations. We had a beautiful, simple, wedding that was paid for in cash, so no debt to get married. I do not believe in that. Now, we have been married for 17 years, have four beautiful, amazing children, who love God. Your wedding is the beginning of your new life! Congratulations again and can’t wait to see pictures! Have a blessed one!
Susan Holder says
Thank you for sharing your heart with us! I know you are on the right track in allowing God to do this work. I too tend to make lists and create structured plans to accomplish goals. Recently, because of role changes in my life, I have realized these tendencies are rooted in lack of trust and faith. If I have a vision of something I believe God has for me, I want to try to embrace His call and trust at a higher level He will bring it to the intended fullness for His glory. This may mean less “do it yourself scheduling” and more stop, wait, listen to His still small voice! Lord, help Ryan and Briana join their lives and their calling so that You God will be praised! Thank You for the beautiful gift of love, intamicy, and togetherness in marriage. In Jesus name, amen.
Andrea says
You’re on the right track Briana. I totally get where you are coming from. Enjoy these early years of marriage and know that when the babies come that these OCD ‘skills’ of keeping may balls in the air will be very helpful. Most of all, continue to cultivate the habit of trust in God. You are not your website or your cookbooks.
Jeanna Woods says
I LOVED wedding planning! But I also had a year and a half to do it. I would love to be a wedding & event planner, if it didn’t mean that most of my work would be done on evenings and weekends. Best Wishes to you and Ryan!
Michelle says
Although I love the pic of the two of you, I won’t lie, that spice cabinet!!! Lol.
Anyway, you sound very much like you have a good clean conscience and the peace and happiness that follow by doing the adorable will of the Father. I have tried to wife and mother from a place of “For everything there is season.” And and on a daily basis, by putting things in their proper order of importance. I found it so easy before I was married to go to work and at the end of the day, all of the work is done! Now, the end of the day comes and it’s never done and that was and is still a hard adjustment when anxiety and OCD bully me.
What is working really well for me currently is asking myself: “What am I telling myself that is making me upset? and Is it true?” If it’s true, there is a dark part of what is true and a light part. If I choose to focus on the dark part for too long, I will eventually jump the fence into what is not even true. Hope that makes sense. And then I do a 5/5/5. 5 things I’m grateful for, 5 problem solving, and finally 5 prayers to God.
With love and prayers for your new start,
Michelle
Barbara Settles says
I’m so very happy for you and Ryan! I love your posts and the way you share your faith! You are a blessing! Thank you for sharing your life with us as you shower us with delicious recipes!