Life in Togo: Things I’ll Miss (and Things I Won’t)

Moving to Togo, West Africa, for a year has been a wonderful experience – one that I will take with me for the rest of my life (and hope to come back to at some point). In this post I’ll share some of the hard as well as the good, but know that the good far outweighs the hard and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

THE HARDEST PART OF LIVING HERE – AND THE BEST

As I said before, this was the easiest move we’ve made so far due to the community that was ready to draw us in. But in a way that was also the hardest part. I’m pretty introverted, and it took me awhile to get used to living in a fishbowl. The first house we lived in after moving here was in a pretty public spot and had a play set in the front yard, so it felt like there were ALWAYS people in my front yard and on my porch, and when the windows are always open, not much is private! The culture here is very open, and we’re like one big family here on compound, so it felt like there were always people in and out of my house! I was always settling squabbles and having to help my children share their toys. And on top of that, I had someone in my house several mornings a week working. Don’t get me wrong – that’s a huge blessing – but it also takes some getting used to.

But after awhile, I got used to it. We did end up moving 6 months in because we extended our stay here and another family was slated to live in the house we were in originally. Our new house is right next to the old one and is actually one side of a duplex. The other side isn’t always occupied, but sometimes families who come for a month or so stay there instead of in the guest house. Even so, this house feels a bit more hidden, so that can be nice. But in all honesty, I’ve gotten used to the comings and goings. And one of the things I’m going to miss the most when we get back to the States is just that – the people. The children in and out of my house calling me “Aunt Briana” and asking for water and snacks like they’re my own. The constant playmates outside under the “Tree of Life.” My children have learned to share and I don’t have to settle nearly so many squabbles now. This experience has been SO GOOD for them, and they have loved every minute. Life is better with people in it, even if you’re an introvert. I guess I had to move to Africa to learn that for real.

THINGS I’LL MISS…AND THINGS I WON’T

I’ll miss being able to have my husband in and out of the house throughout the day, since he lives just a 2 minute bike ride from work. I’ll miss being able to experience Ryan’s work as a family in a way that we never will in the States due to privacy laws. In the States, I would never be able to send a bottle of fresh breastmilk and some leftovers from supper for a new mom of twins who doesn’t have enough milk.

I’ll miss the unique foods…wagash (a non-melting cheese like Indian paneer that is made by the Fulani tribe and can be fried or used in sauces)…the European biscuits (term used for crackers or hard cookies made for dunking)…Ramadan donuts…Fan Ice frozen yogurt pouches…the MANGOS, warm from the sun…

My children will certainly miss always finding something on a tree that’s edible. “Monkey Cheetos” – edible seed pods from the African locust bean (Parkia biglobosa) tree, African grapes (Lannea microcarpa), cashewfruit (Anacardium occidentale).

We’ll all miss the slow pace of life.

The people.

Always having friends around.

Spending time outside year round.

I’ll miss that golden hour between 5 and 6pm when the sun is setting over the red road and highlighting all my favorite orange flowers.

The variety of flora and fauna that are brand new to us.

The gift that is experiencing a different culture.

I’ll miss the life-giving thunderstorms that blow up, pour down, and then drift away leaving coolness in their wake.

But I won’t miss having to make all food from scratch instead of buying tortillas, or pre-shredded cheese, or take-out from a restaurant for a break from cooking once in awhile!

I won’t miss the sickness. We got sick so often for the first few months, as we had no immunity to all the bugs here! Ongoing GI issues…viruses…weird infections on the inevitable scratched-up legs from a life spent outdoors…. Hopefully we’ll still be immune to the bugs in the States!

I won’t miss all the literal bugs in my house. Cockroaches all over. Ants. Spiders. Lizards. My 15 month old is a pro at smashing ants.

I won’t miss having to bleach all my fruits and vegetables!

Or finding weevils in the flour.

Or playing rotten egg roulette.

I look forward to shopping in a supermarket where everything is laid out sensibly and everything is (relatively) clean. I look forward to buying a different variety of cheese instead of just mozzarella and crumbly cheddar. Really, dairy products in general will be nice – and real milk! A cold glass of non-powdered milk…now that’s something to look forward to! And frozen vegetables to add some variety. Really, variety in fruits and vegetables in general, as we have very few options here. I look forward to getting more protein in my diet, as that can be hard to do here.

I won’t miss haggling for vegetables to a constant chorus of, “Madame! Madame!” I won’t miss not being so conspicuous (although as a Mennonite who dresses like I just came off the Mayflower, that’s not an entirely new feeling for me). I certainly won’t miss being accosted by a drunk in market, waiting twenty minutes for a boutique owner to find change, then being chastised by her for not having small bills.

Elle est très fatiguée de chercher la monnaie ! Tu ne devrais pas venir au marché si tu n’as pas de monnaie !

(She [an employee] is very tired from searching for change! You should not come to market if you don’t have change!)

I look forward to dish soap that actually works! To a hot shower when I want it. To air conditioning. To a dishwasher and a vacuum cleaner.

But really, I love it here. And I could happily live here forever if that’s where God wants us to be. Right now we don’t feel called that way, but I wouldn’t discount it for the future. I have learned, in whatsoever continent I am, therewith to be content. God is here, and there, and everywhere.

But thick toilet paper is always a bonus.

---

 If you missed it, check out the previous posts in this series about our life in Togo:

TOGO SERIES

• Life in Togo
• Our Life in Togo: the Basics
• Our Life in Togo: the Arrival
• Our Life in Togo: Culture
• Our Life in Togo: Climate & Cooking
• Our Life in Togo: Language & Church
• Our Life in Togo: Fabric (Pagne)
• A Week in Togo
• Our Life in Togo: Things I’ll Miss and Things I Won’t
• Our Life in Togo: Common Scenes