Meet Rafi

Sweet Rafael was born the beginning of May, one day and 39 minutes past his due date.

Rafael means “God has healed.” We pray that he will be an instrument of God’s healing to those around him. Maybe he’ll be a doctor like Daddy, or a preacher like his grandpa (from whom he got his middle name).

Choosing names is always a struggle for us so we tend to put it off as long as possible…. My “theme” is to choose a Hebrew name for the first name and a family name for the middle name. (Hadassah shares my middle name and Noah has Ryan’s.) Raphael with a “ph” is the Hebrew spelling but we chose the Spanish form in hopes that it will be easier for people to spell.

In this case, I sent a list of possible boy names to Ryan and Rafael was the only one he liked, so Rafael it was. We still had a girl name from our previous pregnancy with Noah. (So far we haven’t found out the gender of any of our children before birth.)

Aunt Missy can take credit for Rafi’s nickname. I knew I probably wasn’t going to be calling him Rafael on the daily, but I was thinking “Rafe” as the standard short form of that name. My sister-in-law came through with this suggestion and I will be forever grateful because it just fits a cute little baby so much better!

My third pregnancy was very much like both of my others. I had the typical nausea from weeks 5/6 until it waned somewhere between weeks 12/14. I don’t throw up a lot, if any, but just feel like I have the flu for a few months. Like my pregnancy with Noah, I felt very tired through the whole pregnancy despite watching my iron levels and taking supplements and getting regular exercise. I took a lot of naps, so that cut out most of my blog time. 🙂

Through a great group of friends I met by joining a MOPs group, I found a wonderful midwife with whom I really enjoyed working. She was ready to be as hands on or hands off as I wanted, and as this was my third normal pregnancy with no complications, we were able to keep everything very low key. I loved that! (I saw an OB and had standard hospital births with both Hadassah and Noah. You can read their birth stories HERE.)

Since I was dilated to a 9 or 10 by the time we made it to the hospital for the births of both of our other children, I thought that the third time around would be a great time to try a home birth…haha. We were living about five minutes from a hospital and I had a textbook pregnancy, so the circumstances were ideal. I was so looking forward to giving birth and recovering in the comfort of my own home. Spoiler alert: I LOVED it. 

Hadassah was my first so I didn’t know what to expect from the birth process, plus we had just moved and renovated a house so I hadn’t had time to give it much thought. With Noah I was dreading the birth process, since my previous experience included getting stalled for about 5 hours dilated to a 9 with intense contractions and no epidural until the very end. With Noah, everything went so fast, we got stopped on the way to the hospital while I was holding back the urge to push, and when we finally got to a delivery room and I realized that there would be no pain relief and the only way out was literally to get this baby OUT, I panicked. With Rafi, the prospect of not having to leave my house or be woken up to have my stomach mashed was HEAVENLY. I was actually looking forward to giving birth! My midwife had a birth pool that we were able to use, so I was excited about that too.

Baby was posterior and lying sideways for the last couple of weeks, so I was doing some exercises to encourage him to move. I barely experienced any “pre-labor” such as Braxton Hicks. The day before my due date I developed some contractions that seemed to be regular, but they fizzled into nothing – very disappointing. My due date came – *crickets.* Nothing. Nada. The next day, sometime in the afternoon I noticed some contractions again. They seemed to develop some regularity but I ignored them, thinking that was probably the best way to encourage them. I actually had a midwife appointment that evening at 7 and was having regular contractions through the appointment. Nothing that actually hurt yet, but I could tell they were there – about 5 minutes apart. My midwife went home to see her family after a full day of appointments and told me to let her know how things continued. She suggested we go ahead and start filling up the birth pool soon if things kept going as they were. 

The contractions did keep going – steadily progressing, getting stronger. We went ahead and put the children to bed. I wouldn’t say I was in denial, but I didn’t want to take the children to the babysitter or call the midwife if this wasn’t the real deal. (Especially since I had both of them on standby two nights before when I thought I was going into labor.) On the other hand, I knew that once things got going, they could go fast. It’s a dicey guessing game. 

I puttered around packing the rest of Hadassah and Noah’s things just in case. Around 9pm I told Ryan that he should probably start setting up the birth pool. He worked on that…I kept puttering…we finally contacted the people from our church that were planning to keep Hadassah and Noah for us. Ryan filled up the pool about half way with the contents of our hot water heater then turned it off to warm up again. I kept puttering around, choosing a boy and a girl outfit from my newborn clothes and laying them out on the dresser. Ryan arranged to meet up with the babysitter (who lived about an hour and a half away). I told my midwife that she should probably come before too long. She quickly responded that she was on her way.

Ryan loaded up the sleeping children and left to meet the babysitter. I ran out of things to do…and the next contraction was a strong one. At 10:52 pm I sent Ryan a text that said, “Just had a really strong one. Jen is almost here.” She soon arrived with her helpers and they finished setting up the birth pool downstairs while I labored upstairs on my own – my preference – mostly just pacing, swaying, and gripping a comb for distraction when the contractions came. When they had the pool set up I was ready for it, so I got in and was amazed at the huge difference it made in managing my pain levels! I actually got concerned that it was slowing my contractions down or making them less effective, so I got up out of the water and instantly got hit with a very strong contraction that quelled my fears in that department. Things were definitely still moving!

I labored quietly in the birth pool for awhile, waiting for Ryan to get back home. Shortly after midnight I was starting to moan through the contractions and hoping he would arrive soon. He got home around 12:15am and at the next contraction I was ready to push. It’s amazing how the body knows when it can let go and do its thing!

This was my first experience with not having people telling me when to push and how long to push and how hard to push. I could do things as fast or as slowly as I pleased, so I didn’t rush things. Rafael was born at 12:39 am, and Ryan got to “deliver” him. (That makes me laugh because who really does the delivering here…?) He and the midwife were of course interested in the health of the baby and making sure everything was as it should be, and I was just there asking, “Boy or girl? Boy or girl??” I love having that “gift” of finally finding out who I have been carrying for 9 months waiting for me at the end of delivery! And it was Rafael. Dear, sweet little Rafi.

He weighed in at 7 lb, 13 oz. (Hadassah and Noah were 7.2 and 8.3, respectively.) He looked so much like Hadassah and cried a fair amount at the beginning just like she did. Oh boy – were we in for another bout with colic? But he settled down then and honestly has been SUCH a good baby. Despite having a fairly significant tongue tie, he latched on to nursing right away and we never did get it revised. It never gave him or me any real issues even though I could tell his latch at the beginning wasn’t the best. Once his mouth got bigger it ceased to be problem, and I never had any pain (apart from the normal beginning discomfort) or supply issues. He has been a pretty good sleeper too. He still gets up a few times during the night to eat (now four months old), but he goes right back to sleep and I’m used to it by now. With Hadassah I would sit in a rocking chair and read a book through each feeding, burping and changing and the whole 9 yards. By the third child I’m dozing in bed while he nurses and half the time we fall asleep like that. 

Hadassah and Noah were thrilled to meet their new little brother, and overall they have accepted him as part of the family with few exhibitions of jealousy. That being said, he’s still a baby, and they’re still pretty young, so vigilance is key. Hadassah can be remarkably helpful at babysitting and has done her share of toting Rafi around. (She turned 4 three months after he was born.) One time he was crying in his swing so she got him out and carried him out onto the deck and down half a flight of stairs into the backyard while my back was turned. He was pleased as punch.

From day 1 Hadassah has been able to correctly pronounce “Rafael.” Noah called him “R’yell” for awhile before switching to “Rocky,” and then “Rafi.”

Having three children has definitely been an adjustment for me as a mom. Rafi has been an incredibly good baby which has helped a lot, but juggling the needs of three preschoolers (Hadassah was still 3 when he was born) is a lot. I had a fairly easy birth with him (less than 2 hours of actual painful labor!), but the after pains were no joke. Thankfully my mom came and helped for a few days, and Ryan was able to take off of work for several weeks and did a lot to occupy Hadassah and Noah. While he was off work seemed like the ideal time to get the majority of our stuff packed up and put into storage in preparation for our upcoming move the end of June, so I was packing boxes at two weeks postpartum. With everything going on, I definitely did too much and my recovery time suffered. I don’t know if it was the stress and activity or just a third pregnancy in fairly quick succession, but my body took longer to bounce back this time around.

Speaking of moving, we moved back to Ohio the end of June and have been spending a very busy summer here, traveling and catching up with old friends. Oh, and Ryan is working his first post-training job!! We’re here for a few more weeks yet before we move to Togo, West Africa, the beginning of October. We’ll be there for at least six months volunteering at a hospital! After that, ask the Lord. =D

If you want the truth, I’m worn out. I’m excited about Africa and am hopeful that the pace of life there can be a reprieve. The past five months have been an absolute whirlwind and my soul just needs some quiet time. I’m thankful for each one of my precious children, and for the joy that Rafael has brought to our lives during this time of upheaval. May God bless each of you, and we would appreciate your prayers for the big move ahead!

Love,

Briana

PS – As I edit this, Rafi just hit the four month mark and is sitting in his little seat watching me type and grinning away. I just got out the 6-9 month clothes for him today. He’s a chunk! Bigger than either of the others at this age!

My mom, Grandma Wendy, came to help us for a few days!

Rafael:

Noah:

It’s been so fun to see Hadassah embracing the big sister role.

“Let’s keep him,” she said.

We went to church for the first time on Mother’s Day. This is the best picture we could get before church…haha.

This one after church turned out marginally better…haha.

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