If You Give a Mom a…

April 24 (during hot/dry season)

If You Give a Mom a ___ : my Thursday morning

This morning I felt like the pig in If You Give a Pig a Pancake, or any other derivative of that narrative. Come to think of it, most of my days feel like that. And it’s definitely not all bad. I enjoy a very full life and get lots of chances to tick things off my to do list, even if they never even made it onto the to do list. I still remember my friend Judy Hershberger telling me that when her children were small, she took joy in making a “done” list at the end of the day. This will be mine, with some story-telling thrown in:

Woke up with Rafi a few times during the night. Or rather, to backtrack, he woke up while I was in the shower washing my hair (after everyone else was in bed, including Ryan) and proceeded to scream for the next hour. He’s been working on his two top teeth for the past week and a half and il n’est pas content. When he finnaaallllyyyy went to sleep, I kid you not, two minutes later Hadassah woke up crying with a desperate need for the bathroom and woke him up again. By the time he had finally settled down from that episode it was about 12:30am and I was drifting off on the couch. (I was trying to disturb Ryan as little as possible.) He woke up again at 4:30, and then went until somewhere around 6:40 and 7:10 – I forget.

I have to put this in for bonus points: yesterday I finished my first twin size quilt – like completely finished. It’s kind of a hot mess because I had to use a fair amount of polyester fabric and used thin fleece for the inside since batting wasn’t available, but I’m proud of the effort. I also managed to shower and wash both Hadassah and Noah’s hair last night without any drama (!!!) AND washed my own. Small victories, folks.

But back to this morning. I didn’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn to have everyone up and dressed and breakfasted before 8 this morning, as I do on a lot of mornings, so it felt relaxing. But mornings are always full. First up, breakfast. Hadassah always wants to eat ASAP, and Noah usually mutters a “Can I have something to eat?” behind his pacifier before —

Excuse me, but Rafi has been crying on my lap as I type this, and Hadassah just came to tell me that Noah peed himself outside Aunt Cindy’s door over by the guest house. Must investigate.

Coming back to this on the 5th of May. No joke. I took some notes that night to I wouldn’t forget and now I will attempt to finish my journal entry. I had to make lunch after investigating Noah (who came to the house of his own accord, thank the Lord), and after that the day took off on me.

But back to the night before, which was prayer meeting. I had one of those “I can’t believe this is my life” moments when we got back. At the end Hadassah had gone to the bathroom and had diarrhea. Really stank things up. I checked on her but she wasn’t done so I told her to lock the door behind me and I would come back to check on her. I went out and got stuck talking to someone and COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT HER. Fast forward half an hour to when we’re back at home, and it dawns on me – I never checked on Hadassah, and she never came and said anything to me.

So I asked her about it – “Hadassah! Did you wipe yourself?? I’m so sorry – I completely forgot about you!”
H: I was calling for you!
Me: Did you wipe?
H: Yeah.
Me: Did you wash your hands and flush?
H: Yeah…oops (sheepish face)…I forgot to flush.

For some reason it just struck me so funny and I laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Sorry, Bethany.

But back to Thursday. Let’s start over.

On Thursdays, no one comes to my house at 8am, but I still do the usual – wake up when the kids wake up, which is usually somewhere between 6:45 and 7:20. I don’t get a lot of solid sleep after Rafi wakes up at 5 something. I have started drinking coffee since it doesn’t seem to affect Rafi anymore so it’s nice to have something to perk me up in the morning. Breakfast is usually homemade granola, although sometimes I make chocolate overnight oatmeal, and Noah is on a yogurt-with-honey kick. I help Hadassah get a dress down and she dresses herself. I comb her hair. I convince Noah to go potty. Just in the past few weeks he has started going by himself if I take his pants off, so that is really nice! I get him dressed in undies, shirt, and shorts. Rafi needs breakfast and a diaper change – or not, if his night diaper isn’t soaked yet. He wears disposables at night and cloth during the day. Ryan would prefer all cloth, but I don’t want to get started with rashes and I hate the thought of him sitting in a peed cloth diaper all night. Often he wears just a diaper during the day since it’s so hot. If we’re going to be around people I try to at least add a shirt so they won’t think I’m a complete loser of a mom. Somewhere in here I try to find time to comb my own hair and get dressed. Easier said than done. Combing my hair is my least favorite chore in the morning.

I tidy the house, sometimes get laundry going if we’re running out of diapers, fill the water cooler before the water gets too hot, fix the bed, etc. Close all the windows and turn the attic fan off sometime before 8-9am when the outside temp exceeds the inside (time depends on the season). On Thursday morning I swept the porch and we took the compost to the rabbits. I gave the children swing rides and helped them climb trees. Came back and put in a load of laundry and started some dry chickpeas in the Instant Pot. Put Rafi down for his morning nap and then tried to do some exercises in the AC in my room. When Rafi woke up we had some mango pops for a snack on the porch – delicious!

By that time it was about time for lunch. After lunch I set Das to washing some dishes, which she enjoys, and if I get her going it at least gets the monotonous silverware washed and gives me the impetus to finish the job even if she doesn’t do everything. At my stage of life with 3 preschoolers, any help is help! While she washed dishes I put Rafi down for a nap, and when I emerged from his room I found that she had moved on from the dishes (after stacking them in the cabinets – wet), swept in the kitchen and living room (not a thorough job, but anything is something), filled a bucket with water, and was mopping like a Togolese femme de menage! When she finished with that she wiped the living room windows! She and Noah had also helped me hang up laundry on the porch earlier. Not all days are like this, but I felt like I was winning at life. 

I put Noah down for a nap, which is thankfully an easy task as long as he has his mimi. (His word for his pacifier.) He’s an insomniac at night but at naptime he’s out like a light. When I came back out Hadassah so sweetly asked me, “Mom, do you have time to read me a story since I washed your dishes?”

Of course I said yes.

I ended up falling asleep beside Das. She often struggles to fall asleep for naps but when she goes to sleep she often sleeps a solid 2 hours. I admit that passing the hottest part of the day napping in the AC is a real temptation every afternoon and I often nap at least a little, especially since Hadassah requires some supervision in order to hold still enough to fall asleep. After naps I cooked some chicken in the Instant Pot and finished making ingredients for Greek chicken bowls with garlic aoli for supper. I also cooked two Instant Pots full of dried black eyed peas from market to give to some Togolese friends. At some point I built Noah an ark out of magnetiles and wiped his butt while Ryan took H and R on a stroller ride before supper. After supper I cleaned everything up and fixed a plate for my friend Elizabeth, the midwife who works crazy hours and still manages to take several hours of French lessons every week and always has a smile on her face. I dropped it off at her house and then came home for devotions as a family. By that time it was Rafi’s bedtime – 8pm. After I put him to bed I took H and N on a starlit bike ride down the quarter mile of straight red dirt road. That was pretty fun – I can’t believe I have kids big enough to do that with. I like being a mom. I think I’ll really enjoy having older kids too…discovering the world with them and living vicariously through them.

Random bits and pieces from life:

• I get a lot of satisfaction out of snapping clean cloth prefolds into unwrinkled submission.
• I do not enjoy playing rotten egg roulette.
• The joy I receive out of hearing Hadassah pray for things we prayed for at prayer meeting (when I wouldn’t have known she was listening)
• The literal wind from the wings of hundreds of thousands of birds migrating overhead
• How Noah likes privacy and snuggles but doesn’t like storms. How he devours olive juice and pickles and is soft hearted to discipline. His wide forehead and dimples and his fascination with building garages with magnetiles and filling them with vehicles and animal figurines. “Where did you put my nice garbage truck?”
• The children’s obsession with “monkey Cheetos” – locust bean pods filled with sweetish yellow pulp that gets stuck around your teeth
• The miraculous overnight sheen of green grass 

• Saying goodbye to friends going on furlough
• Relying on Hadassah more and more for running errands or watching Rafi. She’s so grown up and she’s only 4! Becoming such a little lady…and SO SMART. It’s scary. And fun. She’s my right hand woman.
• Noah crawling into our bed in the night when a storm was beating down on the metal roof
• Noah always having trouble falling asleep at night but taking massive naps. Eager to grow up – “I so big so I can use the scissors!” Getting his own clothes out of the drawer. Speaking French – “Regard Rafi!”
• Noah gives Hadassah something: “Say thank you, Noah!”
• Hadassah, trying to figure out who I’m talking about: “Are they brown or blond?”
• Ryan, about someone who is hard to talk to: “The conversation is on life support.”
• This compound is a fairly safe place to practice independent childhood. If the children would happen to wonder out the gate, there would be lots of aunts and uncles that would notice a stray white child.

• Trying to exercise while Rafi is digging in my belly button, Noah is rooting his head into my stomach, and Hadassah is dressing up in my underclothes and nightgown. The only plus is the AC. My back sweat is squelching on the tile floor.
• “Mom, can I sweep with Abdou?” Noah loves to help the gardener who rakes the leaves and starts fires.
• I went to the caisse to pay for someone’s rendezvous and Hadassah found a weaverbird nest and also started picking up a bunch of trash all on her own. All the Africans were looking on in amusement. I was so proud.
• Not on my Bingo card for today: Just used my daughter’s toothbrush because mine was in the other bathroom and I didn’t want to disturb Ryan.
• Rafi likes to weasel his way into wherever the action is. He also likes to dig his dexterous little pointer finger into my underarms while nursing. Scratch, scritch, scratch
• “Do you see any goovers?” (while brushing teeth)

Me: Why is your hair so ratty?
Hadassah: That’s just how God made me!

Noah, when Das was attempting to try on one of my bras: “Das, do you have feeders?”

I was today years old when I found out that Swiss people say “cuckoo” instead of “peekaboo.” It makes perfect sense, but it’s a possibility I never considered. The Sound of Music immediately came to mind.

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 If you missed it, check out the previous posts in this series about our life in Togo:

TOGO SERIES

• Life in Togo
• Life in Togo: the Basics
• Life in Togo: the Arrival
• Life in Togo: Culture
• Life in Togo: Climate & Cooking
• Life in Togo: Language & Church
• Life in Togo: Fabric (Pagne)
• A Week in Togo
• Life in Togo: Things I’ll Miss and Things I Won’t
• Life in Togo: Common Scenes